Forced Marriage: Post #1

See my first post in this series on cousin marriages here.

I’ll start out by quoting from Amnesty International’s reports about forced marriages in Pakistan as well as what sometimes happens if a woman marries someone of her own choice. Please note that even one such case is heartbreaking, but as always it is not the complete story. There are obviously happily married couples in Pakistan and a lot of them marry of their own accord (usually arranged by parents, though that is changing in the big cities). Those as always remain below our radar both because they don’t constitute a news story and because we focus on the cases of maltreatment. I also do not want to say that women’s rights are in good shape in Pakistan because they definitely are not. Usually however the problems are much deeper and look much more benign on a cursory look than the extreme cases in these excerpts will show.

According to a report by Amnesty International,

Shazia R.’s father arranged a forced marriage for her with a man more than twice her age. When 21-year-old Shazia refused to marry this man, her father beat her severely. Fearing that he would attempt to kill her, she ran away. She found refuge at Panah, a women’s refuge in Karachi set up with donations from several AI sections. Shazia has been staying at the shelter for two months and is extremely happy that she has been able to find safety.

In their report “Pakistan: Insufficient Protection of Women”:

During a visit to Pakistan in April 2000, a man approached Amnesty International delegates in a small Sindh town explaining that he and an adult woman wanted to get married but both partners had been promised in marriage as small children to their respective cousins. The prospective couple were aware of their right under the law to marry but feared violence including deaths at the hands of their relatives if they went ahead. Both partners loved their parents and did not wish to antagonize them but saw no way to claim their rights. Asked about how they had come to know of their rights, the young man reported that in his generation everyone knew their rights; in some cases, prospective couples had run away to ascertain their right and the news of this had contributed to the general awareness. Another couple approached Amnesty International in Karachi at that time; they had been underground for almost a year after a court marriage which the wife’s family did not approve of. They had threatened to find the wife and kill her wherever she might try to hide. More recently, several couples who had married of their own choice and who have since then been living underground and others who were about to get married but feared for their lives, sent e-mail messages to Amnesty International asking for advice on where they might be safe. Another couple who have left the country after receiving threats from the wife’s family without whose consent they had got married, sought Amnesty International’s help in their asylum application.

[…]In its meeting in September 2001 the Council of Islamic Ideology asserted that parents should ascertain the will of their daughters before arranging their marriages but reportedly also said that Islam has given the power to family elders to punish family members including wives and children if they were found to be involved in unethical activities. The advice appears to ignore that the law already requires that women freely consent to their marriages.

[…]While most marriages in Pakistan are arranged by both spouses’ parents, forced marriages continue to be reported. The judiciary in Pakistan has in some cases upheld the right of women to refuse a forced marriage. Very early age at marriage of girls continued to be reported despite legal provisions which fix the minimum age of marriage for girls at 16 and boys at 18. Early marriage denies girls the right to the right to education needed to prepare for adulthood; it also means premature pregnancy with its associated risks. Moreover child marriages must be assumed to be forced marriages as young girls cannot be assumed to be able to give free and full consent to the marriage. Sexual intercourse within forced marriages always constitutes rape.

Pakistani women living abroad continue to be abducted by their parents to be forcibly married to grooms in Pakistan. Usually deprived of their travel documents on arrival they find it difficult in an alien environment to obtain help to escape. 18-year old K. from Manchester who holds British nationality, was taken in April 2001 to Azad Jammu and Kashmir by her parents who told her they were together going on a holiday. In early August she was married to a man she did not know or want; a week later her parents left for the UK taking with them her identity papers. Fearing violence in the family of her in-laws, she hid with friends and contacted a UK based lawyer who succeeded in obtaining emergency travel documents from UK authorities. The young woman returned to the UK in late August 2001.

My anecdotal experience with the immigrant communities suggests that some of the immigrants do not assimilate (I am talking here of the people who immigrated themselves and not their children) and are actually fixed in their cultural mores to the time when they immigrated. In the meantime, the values and traditions of their original home have changed drastically. It is like time has stood still for them. These are probably the sort of immigrants who force their children to marry without consent.

Women who marry men of their own choice are frequently seen to damage their family’s ‘honour’; they are frequently detained by their parents, forcibly married to someone else, threatened, humiliated, assaulted or killed. If they chose to get married in court against the will of their parents, they may be charged, along with their husbands, with ‘illicit’ sexual relations under the country’s Zina [adultery/fornication] Ordinance if their parents do not recognize the legality of the marriage. The Zina Ordinance criminalizes zina, ‘fornication’, i.e. heterosexual relations between consenting adults outside marriage. The legality of a marriage is often difficult to prove for a couple who chose this form of marriage. Courts do not mandatorily maintain records of marriages which could be used to prove that a marriage was lawfully contracted. Women’s rights activists have therefore urged that certain procedureal requirements be made compulsory: that proper record of court marriages be maintained by the courts; that courts intimate the area police station of such marriage so that no criminal complaint of unlawful sexual relations can be registered; the courts should also inform the family concerned about a marriage having been lawfully contracted.

[…]On 25 August 2001, 22-year-old Hifza Kakar was shot dead by her brother at the gate of a sessions court in Quetta where police had escorted her from the local Darul Aman. Hifza had married Fayyaz Moon of her own free will in 1998 but her parents filed a criminal complaint against her husband in Pishin police station alleging that he had abducted her and committed zina. The couple were arrested by police in Faisalabad. During hearings before a sessions judge in Quetta Hifza asserted that she had not been abducted but had validly married Fayyaz of her own free will. The court reserved the judgment which was to be announced on 25 August. After the shootout, the court said that the couple were acquitted of all charges. Hifza Kakar’s brother was arrested.

Dozens of women pay with their lives when they claim their right to decide their own marriages:

In March 2000, Deeba Shaw, a 15-year-old girl in Chenaser Goth, Sindh province was shot dead by her family when they found out that she had married her neighbour without their knowledge. Her husband fled when he heard of her murder.

On 6 March 2000, 19-year-old Samina, married six months earlier and four-months pregnant, and her husband Tanveer Faisal were shot dead in their home in Jharanwala village, Sialkot district, by her brother as her family had opposed the marriage. No one is known to have been arrested.

Often couples believe themselves safe if they escape threats immediately after their wedding. Sometimes women’s groups try and mediate between the families to settle the conflict while the couple are in hiding. In many cases, families ultimately accept the fact of the marriage, especially once sons are born. However, sometimes their sense of shame is not appeased. Robina and Khushi Mohammad of Marianwala village in Gujranwala district were hunted down and killed in May 2000 by Robina’s uncle and two brothers over two years after their wedding against the wishes of her family; they had been in hiding but had finally returned to the husband’s home.

[…]Kubran Bibi was married by her parents without her consent to a man in village Chhedu, Punjab province, in 1999 but was divorced within a few months; her father then married her to Iqbal in her home village Rangeelpur of Manga Mandi, Lahore, again without her consent. When she was repeatedly beaten by Iqbal, she left him on 30 January 2001 and sought refuge in the private women shelter ‘Dastak’ in Lahore. Kubran Bibi told ‘Dastak’ staff at the time of her admission that she had not been consulted before either marriage and that her father had taken money for them; as her second husband was already married and used to beat her severely, she could neither go back to her parents nor to her husband but sought shelter and assistance to file for divorce. She expressed her fear of both her own relatives and her in-laws, all of whom had threatened her. While at Dastak, she was visited by her sister, brother-in-law and a cousin on 9 February 2001 and again by her father and sister on 16 February. She returned with them to her father’s home on the same day.

On 25 March 2001, as she was sleeping in the courtyard of the family home, Kubran Bibi was shot dead. According to press reports her cousin Ashiq killed her in the name of ‘honour’. An FIR (126/2001) was lodged by her father in police station Manga Mandi on 25 March 2001; it named Kubran Bibi’s cousin Mohammad Ashiq as the accused; he obtained pre-arrest bail. Kubran Bibi’s brother and brother-in-law were named as eye witnesses.

The HRCP [Human Rights Commission of Pakistan] concluded, ”the killing of a woman, Kubran Bibi who had recently left the women’s shelter ‘Dastak’ indicates how precarious the position of women is in a situation where even their closest relatives present a threat to them. It also points to the difficulties for those providing shelter to women in an attempt to offer some protection from the dangers they face.”

In some cases men have killed divorced women such as former wives or daughters or single female relatives of whose conduct they disapprove. In February 2000, Iliyas shot dead his daughter Shakeela in village Garjakh, Gujranwala district. Shakeela was living with her divorced mother who had consented to the young woman’s marriage to a man of her choice. In a similar case, a man killed his widowed sister Hoor Begum on 22 October 2000 in Nawabshah district because he disagreed with her choice for her daughter of a man from another community.

[…]’Honour’ killings occasioned by a woman seeking divorce also occur among the expatriate Pakistani community. In February 2001, Nawaz Bhatti was sentenced to death in Clairsville, Ohio, USA, for the murder of his wife Dr Lubaina Bhatti, her father, her sister and her niece in September 1999 in what Nawaz Bhatti perceived to be the defence of his ‘honour’ injured by a disloyal wife. Lubaina Bhatti had been persuaded to consent to the arranged marriage with Nawaz Bhatti in 1992 perhaps out of respect for her parents’ wishes. However, over the next years she filed domestic violence charges against her husband but did not pursue these for fear that he would abduct their son to Pakistan. In February 1999 she filed for divorce and when he continued to harass her, filed for protection in May 1999. On 11 September 1999, only a few days before the divorce was to be finalized, Bhatti shot her dead along with family members whom he believed to have helped her.

[…]Bakhtwar, an 18-year-old woman of the Pathan tribe from Perumal, Sanghar district, Sindh, on 8 July 2000 married Roshan Junejo, a man from the Junejo tribe, before a magistrate in Nawabshah. Her father, Qamruddin, strongly objected to the marriage as he had earlier accepted a marriage proposal for Bakhtwar from a kinsman, Akbar Pathan, which reportedly involved the payment of a large bride price consisting of Rs. 400,000 and two of Akbar Pathan’s five daughters. Bakhtwar’s mother had reportedly met and approved of Bakhtwar’s choice for a spouse. Bakhtwar did not want to marry Akbar Pathan as he was elderly, married and had a daughter older than Bakhtwar. Besides, Bakhtwar wanted to marry Roshan Junejo.

The couple following their wedding were sheltered by relatives but were found by Pathan tribesmen when trying to flee to another village. Bakhtwar was taken against her will to a relative, Fikir Mohammad Pathan in Sanghar who held her in quasi-detention. At the time, Bakhtwar’s family and several elders of the tribe gave written assurances to the Junejos that Bakhtwar would not be harmed and allowed to appear in court at a date fixed earlier for a hearing, 19 July, to state freely if she wanted to stay with her husband or with her family. They said they would respect her choice.

Meanwhile several hundred Pathan tribesmen gathered at Sanghar protesting against Bakhtwar’s disobedience and twice attacked the house where she was held, apparently with the intention to kill her. The tribesmen denounced the marriage and insisted on protecting the family’s ‘honour’ by declaring they would not allow Bakhtwar to approach the court. A spokesperson said: ”We will protect our honour. It is our tradition and part of our culture, irrespective of what the people say.”

On 18 July night, a jirga of the Pathan and Junejo tribes gathered, apparently at or near the residence of a former Member of the National Assembly (MNA) Haji Khuda Bux Rajar and decided that the girl should stay with her parents. The Pathan tribe promised the Junejo tribe that she would not be harmed if her husband agreed to divorce her and allowed her to be returned to her parents. Bakhtwar’s parents are reported to have sworn on the Qur’an not to harm their daughter. Roshan Junejo who had gone into hiding for fear of his life, was brought to the meeting and on hearing this assurance, signed the divorce papers, presumably under considerable duress. Newspaper reported on 20 July that Bakhtwar was escorted by police to Quetta where a part of the family lives.

[…]Among the positive judgments was the Lahore High Court ruling of January 2001 that a woman cannot be forced to live with her husband or her parent against her will. The court responded to a petition by Shahnaz Akhter which alleged that she had been forced to marry a man, her cousin, whom she did not choose or agree to marry and that she feared for her life if she was sent back to her parents where she said her brothers would kill her. The court directed that she be lodged in the local state-run shelter, the Darul Aman, where no one would be allowed to meet her without her consent. Months earlier, Shahnaz had written to the High Court complaining that her family was getting her married without her consent; the court had taken note of this but sent her back to her family after her brothers pledged before the court to respect her wish. Days later she was forced to marry the man her brothers had selected. Shahnaz Akhter had then appealed again to the High Court, saying: ”In the days before Islam, girls were buried alive. Now they are sold like sheep and goats. I have been sold to a man I never wanted to live with. What kind of Islam is this? I am a very unlucky woman who has been thrown to the wolves. My marriage is cruel and arbitrary.”

[…]The Sindh High Court circuit bench in Hyderabad on 21 September 2000 ordered the registration of a kidnapping and murder charge against the father and mother of Uzma Talpur, on a constitutional petition filed by Nasir Mehmood, husband of Uzma Talpur after police on numerous occasions failed to bring her to court. Nasir Mehmood, a student of Tandojam Agricultural University, and Uzma Talpur got married of their own choice on 14 November 1998 in Khairpur before a magistrate as the Talpur family disapproved of the marriage. The couple then went to Punjab province where they were arrested in Jhelum on 30 November 1998 by Hyderabad police on a kidnapping and zina charge; Uzma was subsequently handed over to her parents. Nasir Mehmood stated that police maltreated him in custody and took away the wedding certificate. When the kidnapping charge against Nasir Mehmood was heard before the Karachi High Court, the Talpur family undertook on 6 April 1999 to bring their daughter to the court but failed to do so repeatedly. The mater was then transferred to the Hyderabad bench of the High Court where, on 12 May 2000, the court was informed by Uzma’s father, Gul Mohammad Talpur,, that he had brought her to court on 20 April 1999 but that she had been kidnapped by four unknown persons. The Station House Officer of Cantonment police station, however stated that no woman had been kidnapped on that day. Despite this, another FIR alleging kidnapping was registered against Nasir Mehmood. The court issued several search orders to recover Uzma Talpur but to date she has not been found.

Most of these cases involve use of force, especially deadly force. This is however not the common practice. Most often, the pressure for or against marriage is an emotional one. Parents routinely do not ask their daughter’s opinion about a marriage prospect, assuming that she will accept. They try to emotionally blackmail their children (both guys and girls) to marry the person the parents have chosen or not to marry the person the child has decided on. If someone, especially a woman, marries of their own accord, they are socially cut off from their family. This boycott often ends after a while, especially a the married couple get a kid of their own (as mentioned in the excerpt).

One question that arises out of this discussion is how to define forced marriage. Is it forced only when physical force is applied? Or is a marriage forced, when the consent is not completely freely given whether the pressure was physical or emotional? I would go with the second definition. This brings a lot of cases not discussed in human rights reports because they are much milder, difficult to prove and very common. Arranged marriages play into this to some extent as well.

Next: Islamic injunctions about marriage, discussion of arranged marriage.

By Zack

Dad, gadget guy, bookworm, political animal, global nomad, cyclist, hiker, tennis player, photographer

78 comments

  1. you are correct about immigrants freezing values. this is true in many groups-foot binding was still practiced in isolate chinese communities in malaysian sarawak in the 1970s!

    my parents still preserve the values of circa 1980 bangladesh. my cousins, who recently came to live with them to go to school in the states told me this when i went visiting. my parents though are simply clueless about this-they don’t go back home often, and when they do, they bring money, everyone is happy, and so forth, so they don’t get the typical “slice of life.”

  2. A lot of my relatives settled in Britain in the 1960s. When we meet them, they seem from a different time. For example, almost all of my married cousins, born in Britain, had arranged marriages from Pakistan while a lot of the cousins in Pakistan had “love marriages”.

  3. i think its so sad that these women suffer and have no voice!!im with a pakastani and im american he lies so much about his family not caring about my race i have to become muslim first i dont know now………

  4. you are true to report such horriable ghastly images of arranged marriages, however not all marriages end up to be forced in the way you describe some girls like myself are bought up to believe their parents will chose who they will marry abnd it is for most parents out of good intentions but sometimes can go wrong when the marriage is not considered properly. I have had a horriable experience by getting married to a pakistani man who just wanted to come to Britain and i was his passport but i don’t blame my parents its just a matter of explaining to your parents in a logic way of what the youth of today feel on the matter of arranged marriages. I feel they work if they are semi arranged and am up for another arranged marriage. I know lots of other people who have had succesful arranged marriages.

  5. shabana: Actually, this post is about the worst cases. Most of these are forced marriages. I do distinguish between forced marriages and arranged marriages. I have a later post about arranged marriage.

  6. I am dating a Pathan (Pakistani) and I am American. My B.F. and I have been dating a little more than a year. His family still doesn’t know I exist, and in June of 2004 he will be having an an arranged marriage with his cousin in Pakistan (whom he does not know). My B.F. has lived in the US all his life (aside from when he went to med school in Pakistan). He is VERY western, if not almost completley. He says he wants to marry me but he can’t. We both love each other so much; and it hurts so bad that I can’t describe the pain I feel from all of this. I am a convert to Islam and let me tell you this is not a religious matter. This is purely cultural. If you are going to come to America to work and live and tell your sons and daughters who are 1st generation Americans that they must also marry a Pathan from Pakistan and then bring them here to America, you’re crazy. All I can say is parents who raise their children in the west should atleast let them marry whom they choose. I know what ever happens though it will be Allahs will, and he knows what is best for me.

  8. i also have the similar case. i am a paki living in sauid arabia and deeply in love with a girl from lahore (pakistan). we both are well educated and i am well setteled. i sent my proposal to her parents several times through my parents but they dont seem to agree. and as the girl has stood for her right therefore now she has to face many problems including physical violence and death threats. they are isolating her and told her not to use any of their things including tv, fone or daily necessary things.. even she has to ask permission for eating the food. she is a patient of asthima and her health is repidly falling down. at the same time she is also much concerned abot her siblings. she knows if she runs away with me then it would be hell hard for her younger sisters to get merried as this is a big problem in pak. therefore now she is stuck in her decision so am i. coz me too dont want that innocent kids should pay for our love. i am the only earning source for my family. i have two younger brothers. as i am living in saudi arabia and my borthers are in lahore (pak) therefore i am also feared that if i take her away with me.. her family would heart my younger brothers.
    i really dont know what to do…. but one thing is for sure… WE CANT MARRY SOMEONE ELSE

  10. A british national in danger of a forced marriage overseas can receive a wide range of assistance and advice from the foreign and commonwealth office. If you are a british national in fear of a forced marriage, get in touch with them on 0207 008 0135/0230

  11. A british national in danger of a forced marriage overseas can receive a wide range of assistance and advice from the foreign and commonwealth office. If you are a british national in fear of a forced marriage, get in touch with them on 0207 008 0135/0230

  12. Aisha, your BF, I regret to say, is foolish. It’s true, this is purely cultural, but he still has full right to refuse his partner. I don’t understand his willingness to martyr his happiness for some whim of the parents.

    It really boggles my mind that the parents are more concerned about the son fullfilling their desire than to ensure his life-long happiness.

    BTW… I’m also of south-asian descent. So, this isn’t a “cultural” element that I don’t understand; on the contrary, I understand it very well.

    BTW. A british national in risk of a forced marrige overseas doesn’t have too many options. About all the embasy can do is issue an emergency passport and a one-way ticket back. However, you need to get to the embasy on your own.

  13. I don’t want an arranged marrage. I’m 23, I’ve been worried about this issue since i was 13. For me the situation can be reduced down to 2 options. 1. marry who i want (proably a totaly unsuitable girl whome i will adore untill she leaves me) This options sounds good only it would mess things up with my family so much it would kill me. or 2. marry who they want me to marry to keep them happy. I thought maybe i could keep rejecting possible candidates untill i meet sombody like minded and do a deal, live a lie to spare our families. would that be so wrong? i mean they no nothing of my life realy everything they no is an elobaratly constructed lie. one more wouldnt hurt right?

  14. I don’t want an arranged marrage. I’m 23, I’ve been worried about this issue since i was 13. For me the situation can be reduced down to 2 options. 1. marry who i want (proably a totaly unsuitable girl whome i will adore untill she leaves me) This options sounds good only it would mess things up with my family so much it would kill me. or 2. marry who they want me to marry to keep them happy. I thought maybe i could keep rejecting possible candidates untill i meet sombody like minded and do a deal, live a lie to spare our families. would that be so wrong? i mean they no nothing of my life realy everything they no is an elobaratly constructed lie. one more wouldnt hurt right?

  15. I don’t want an arranged marrage. I’m 23, I’ve been worried about this issue since i was 13. For me the situation can be reduced down to 2 options. 1. marry who i want (proably a totaly unsuitable girl whome i will adore untill she leaves me) This options sounds good only it would mess things up with my family so much it would kill me. or 2. marry who they want me to marry to keep them happy. I thought maybe i could keep rejecting possible candidates untill i meet sombody like minded and do a deal, live a lie to spare our families. would that be so wrong? i mean they no nothing of my life realy everything they know is an elaboratly constructed lie. one more wouldnt hurt right?

  16. One thing that i have noticed a lot, that many Muslim men are liers or that after they marry the girl they change sooo much. I have known of non-muslim women who have married muslims , when they were dating everything was fine, like a dream, then it becomes a nightmare after marriage. And when the women decided to get a divorce, the man kidnapps his own children and there is really nothing the woman can do. I just don’t agree the way a muslim treats a woman. No one has the right to beat or hurt another person.

  17. Blue: Your comments seem bigoted to me. While I agree with you that in a number of cases there are problems and no one should have the right to hurt or beat another person or to kidnap his own children, you go too far in making this a Muslim characteristic.

  18. The Foreign office can help a british national in danger of a forced marriage overseas – in certain circumstances it is possible for the british high commission to undertake legal action or to go to the address where the young person is being held against their will prior to the marriage and bring them away – it is not always necessary for the young person to make their own way to the High Commission.

  19. My mother and father are from Kashmir…… i was born and bought up in the uk… in an Islamic, middle class family……

    My parents have discussed marriage with me….. and my parents have told me that I can marry any girl i like…. no matter what race! As long as she is a Muslim or even from Christian/Jewish background. Doesnt even matter what colour she is…

    My parents also do not believe in the caste system either…. and it is rubbished whenever mentioned by other Asians….. even though technically we come from higher caste than other Asians. (jut caste)

    Not all people from where i come from are like my parents……. i.e. the problem with tribal rivary/revenge killings/ forced marriages is a BIG problem…… throughout Asia…. My parents village has seen nothing like it…. and Im happy they are well clear of all this intolerance and problems.

    Im just glad my family isnt so intolerant… I think education and breaking from stupid customs … is perhaps the key thing.

    I would also like to add that not all arranged marriages are bad, as long as both parties are doing so freely.

  20. Kashmiri: Props to your parents.

    not all arranged marriages are bad, as long as both parties are doing so freely.

    Definitely. It depends on a lot of factors.

  21. i am 29 years maile i want to marrige any poor girl can you help me this mater xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx than you

  23. I think it is a sad case that even today forced marriages are still happening!! This is a serious matter so i don’t think we should go off the subject!!-refering to m.h!! I hope inshallah those who have suffered and those who are still suffering will have peace and the strength to fight on inshallah!!
    After reading this webpage i am so grateful that my parents mashallah don’t believe in forced marriages…may Allah be with those who have been through it and are going through it…inshallah.. ameen

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  31. i believe arranged marriages are acceptable but to a certain extent! a guy/girl should have a choice in who they are going to spend the rest of their life with. but i also believe that british asians should be able to marry someone british to because i have seen many cases where a british guy or girl gets married from back home and have many problems as they both have different ways of thinking which contradict each other. i am not married yet but would prefer to marry someone who can speak the same language as me and can understand me as a person because i have seen many pakistani guy/girls who just come to britain for a passport and take advantage of us. but then i have seen a few successful marriages of pakistani and british people

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  35. I was forced into an arranged marriage at the age of 17 to my first cousin who was 30. After a 13 year knightmare of beating and abuse Allah Subhanu talaah gave me the courage to leave him and I got a divorce in May 2002. I wish that parents just think about what they are doing and not ruin their kids whole life. Now I am happily married to my husband, Haroon, who I met a year ago.. and we have a beautiful daughter Malakia.

  36. I HATE Arrange marriages and i definetly aint getting one done INSHALLAH. im 19 studying engineering and my mother has chatted bout me marryin my cousis in pakistan but NO WAY i cant get along with those boys. i go pakistan every 1 half year to islamabad coz we are originally from there and have spent time with them all my aunties and cosins are very modern more then us even if we live in london but i noticed they are very very crafty and cleaver, and very dishonest . all they want is a stay in UK because they are educating as engineers and wana cum here permenently to earn lots N lots of money. i see no point in marryin them if i know i aint gonna be happy with them. its best to marry someone u know u can get along in life with and have a complete understaning with. i told this to my mum that i dont wana marry anyoe 4rm her family bt she didnt like it at 1st and was scared if i got married outside family there is no guarantee that they will keep me forever i.e. they might divorce me (Even though i knw it aint gona be my fault coz im a good person) but i said to her that its gonna be my fate if i get married to the good 1 or da crap 1. so she took notice of that and is cool with the idea of me choosing my own husbund. (YEAHHHHHH). HOWEVER i cant tell any1 4rm back hme coz they gonna mind it alot but i dont care coz its my life and if my mum allowed no other 3rd persun is 2 interfere. i BELIEVE RELIGON FIRST AND CULTURE SECOND.

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    I Like to introduce myself to you through this web which contains a very sincere request for your personal favour to me,though we don,t know each other, but still being a permanent resident of Pakistan(N.W.F.P).have no other source of finding some suitable Life Partner in Canada, America, Japan,U.A.E,Denmark,Norway,China and particulary in England also assist me to Settled there.

    well, would you like to know some thing about my-self,in my case,
    I am Mahmood,Journalist Mahmood Rahman.i am from pakistan.My Hobies are Reading Books,writing Long Driving,Computer Games and chat.i am single,24 years old, 6 feet 1 inche tall, slim, short hair and dark eyes.

    i am young and Good-Looking of that too i am confident.I belive on Hard working, Determination,and Luck.i am Master of Science in Journalism & Mass communication.I Love my Field.I would like to learn about different countrys culture,history and worldwide learning about different ways of life.I would love to meet people from all over the world.

    My point of views about life is that without religion life is nothing, there is no satisfaction ,no success.if you want to make your life successful then we should follow the teaching of Islam because beard are not enough to preach if goats will be preach.I also try to lead my life according to the teachings of Islam and that is the reason of my success.We’re sunni Muslim family and perform the 5 times prayer, saum, zakah,but i am I’m broad minded and modern 2.

    I am looking for a Nice and Caring Life Partner in Canada, America, Japan, and particulary in England who is well established, well settled, educated, simple, polite/good-natured, sincere, responsible, broad minded, believes in mutual understanding and appreciates equality in marriage relationship.I always like to speak truth and the same expect from others.I am also interested in migrating to western country,and settle their.I Request every-one to Help me in this Regard.I will be greatful to you if you help me.If you know some other persons, or family who HELP me in this Regard, kindly inform them about me.

    I respect my elders and those who respect me, love those who love me. I am that kind of person who never wants to have only face beauty of a life partner.I am not impressed by physically appearance or personality of anybody, I can only appreciate that. Heart beauty and Good nature are much valuable for me.I believe in humanity, realism & peaceful life.If you are Honest and Responsible looking for a Life Partner who is Descent Sincere Caring Loving Sweet Honest Genius and with Good sense of Humor,then your search ends here….

    if you think you are the one I am seeking for and I am the one you are seeking for then e-mail me,age, race, are not important for me.well when you know me…you shall know me good!Take care of your-self for me Bye

    PLEASE NO TIME WASTERS!
    ONLY SERIOUS INQUIRIES PLEASE!!!!! with providing enough details in initial e-mail because I would like to know more better about you before I decide to accept/contact you.E-mail me only on these ID james_dreamboy@yahoo.com or future_prince@canada.com

    That’s all here whatever I have said.

    Have a nice time!!!!!

    Thank You 🙂

    Mahmood Rahman

    What can I say about my family.All very loving, close to the heart….well I love them….no doubt,my family is the Best.

    E-MAIL ME DIRECTLY ON THIS ID: james_dreamboy AT/Yahoo/Dot/Com

  40. please for Sake of God somebody help me i need contact somebody from Gingal Kashmir, im from america so i cant not speak urdu please i need sombody who help me

    please

  41. i think that all of this is really wrong..but has it been mentioned that this is wrong in islam?..no..well it is..so dont point fingers..

    just cuz some uneducated people do this the whole country gets a bad name..thats a shame really..and havng bf/gfs is haram in islam..think of that b4 ya start flaunting that..

  43. Im looking for a marriage of at least 20 to 40 Female or divorce.Im looking for a Kind reliable woman to have a family with.she is,Honest,Pretty,Seriouse,sense of humor,
    Confident,like to make a holiday,to rejoice in the life.if she is Finacially support or european cityzenship give me.she is realy good and forgot the past life and most of us pay lip service in the life.and share everything about ourself in the life.love is put into so many different things.she is come to sometime in disguise to offer us help or advise give me.Im male 30 years live in Pakistan.
    My character:Intelligent,Kind,Tender,Honest,Loving,Seriouse,sense of humore,
    hard_working,Buisness mind,Im currently employed in Pakistan.
    I want to liege life partner.Im explore liege life partner.Always I shall keep to Pleasure in the life.so always,you will be look for me Angel.and you,re always live in my Heart and always on my mind.Life hands us many different things,good and bad,one of the greatest Gift we receive is the love of a good life partner.I belive that is the great gift of God.and I hope that it will be ourlife pleasure to very nice.and we will share our thoughts and lonely life.that will life must be kind and sincere,happy and full of cheer.My angel,Im searching you,Around the World from North to South and East to West,Day and Night.I shall find you my Angel.because,love is a sweet thing,and love will find away.love is lawless,and love begets love.my Angel life,s to short to love like that.but I will,a room in your heart.
    The World is cold,and I need a liege life partner to hold.My Angel I shall pick you any place in the World.my sweet heart Angel must.I hope God we will meet very soon be as one together as we once had been.I shall begain again new life and lonly get to spend a couple of day in the new life.if you be my Angel and you can keep peaceful with me.Then please, dont hesitate to write to me.I belive that is the great Gift of God.I shall reply to all.
    My Angel contact from my Heart,looking forward to her from you soon,waiting for your,s life partner.E_mail:doorian_pk@hotmail.com
    03005616360 mansehra hazra pakistan

  44. Brass Crescent Awards Voting

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  45. I have a question plz. give me answer.
    QUESTION/ A man he has a daughter and a woman she has a son. If man and woman marry after their marriage that boy and girl can marry or not? I will waite your message on this email naeem714@yahoo.com

  47. Arranged Marriage

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  49. Im a 15yr old Australian girl, i have a Pakistani B.f of over 7months. about 1 month ago he went back to his village Lahore. his mother is very sick and he thinks its becuz of him not lisening to her. Ali (my b.f) has lived in this country for most of his life. We are engaged to be married. I am a convert to Islam. All i want is for us to get married. all his family knows except his dad and two brothers. His sisters and brother-in-laws seem to like me alot bcuz i am good for there brother. before he was goin out wif me he was out all hours of the ay and night drunk and his family didnt no where he was. Now he is always at my house and his family knows where he is but ever since they went back to pakistan it seems they have all turned againsed me. Please if anyone reads this e-mail me and give me some advice bcuz i really love my B.f and i want 2 get married to him..

  50. Commenters Looking for Marriage

    I don’t understand how much interested/desperate some of my commenters are for marriage that they are not only looking for a spouse online, they are asking about it on a page about forced marriage. Here are some samples. SANT5OSH: WANT…

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