You probably already know from my series of posts on marriage that I don’t like arranged marriages. They are obviously not the disaster that people in the West generally think they are. However, there is one big problem with them and it is apparent from this money quote from the last article in that series I pointed out yesterday:
Since their first night together, Asim and Nida have proceeded backwards along the typical course of a Western romantic relationship. First married, then physically intimate, they are now entering the stage of courtship.
the problem is post-modern….
arranged marriage from the western perspective: yuck, sex, then getting to know someone! how whorish!
getting to know someone from the eastern perspective: yuck, sex, then getting to marry someone! how whorish!
Interesting.
Salam
im about to get married off in pakistan and i dont want to yet as i have university to go to.
i only hinted towards saying no and my mum went nuts and dad got really upset.my heart is not accepting this girl and its not her fault.she is pious and a good religious family as is our family(me myself being a hafiz of Quran)
i dont wan to upset my parents and i dont want to get married,what do i do?
Mustafa: If you don’t want to get married to this girl, then say no. It’s as simple as that.
my boyfriends parents are pressuring him to have an arranged marriage to a girl in lebanon that he new three years ago. he wants to be with me and he has told his parents that and they dont care.im lost i dont know what to do im scared he will cave under pressure and do it.ive always imagined spending my life with him i really dont know what to do please any advice is welcomed
hi im 20 now, i had a arrangd marriage back home in bangladesh. i gt married wen i was 19, jus finishd 6th4rm, was goin2 go uni, but got married in da summer hols. i was reali upset didnt wanted 2 get married 2 a freshy, i didnt no da guy. now im married, iv workd my arse off 2 get him in dis country. i am nw pregnant, im expectin soon. i feel lyk im missin out on sumfin. n i feel dat im only makin da best of da situation. my huby does love me, i no. he find it hard 2 socialize in dis country, n work wise he is a kitchen porter, he hates workin. he keeps sayin he wants 2 back 2 bangladesh. wot bout me? i gt him here, my parents sayz he useless. then why did they get me married 2 him??? i feel i have too many issues to deal with.
@rachele
my boyfriend just got married when he went to visit fam in lebanon and brought wife back to states and tells me he wants me not her but has to do for his family. they live together how am i supposed to deal with that
all this marriage drama makes me so mad. Why can’t parents accept the fact american-indians obviously want to marry who they want to? My grandma “naniji” has been planning out my marriage for years, she’s been picking out suitors since the day i was born and she can’t seem to stop. She focuses on “does this man have manners”…she checks shaadi.com daily and talks to family about suitable matches for me…the only problem is..I’m only 16!
I am very sure that in about 2 years my family is going to force me to marry some fobb that i don’t like, and then when i refuse {which i sure as hell am] there’s going to be WW3 in our house…why don’t indians ever change?
wow, your boyfirned must really be a nice guy.